Inspiration is rude

because it doesn’t knock,

Inspiration makes a mess of my desk,

doesn’t let me sleep when I want to,

plays hide and seek when I’m searching for it,

– don’t even get me started on returning calls –

it takes the mick by offering ideas I can’t use,

and urges me to write but suddenly disappears half way through.

 

Inspiration lets itself in at the most inconvenient times

and I would change the lock

but then I may never see it again…

 

Although Inspiration’s visits are erratic, it is always there when I don’t need it.

 

– Nix

Notes: featured image not mine

Not totally satisfied with this poem but I completely forgot to post on Tuesday as I posted on Monday, oops. Here is something that will hopefully make up for the wait.

Also I’ve had two quite social days in a row so I’m feeling pretty happy. Today I came out to N unintentionally since we were talking about my dating life or lack thereof and I was being vague (using ‘they’ pronouns instead of ‘he’ or ‘she’). So then she asked whether they are a boy or a girl to which I then answered in small voice because I was embarrassed and nervous – bear in mind that we were in a lesson – but it turns out that she’s really chill and supportive which is a lovely feeling.

Song: Itch by Nothing But Thieves (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ORQX4QQwmII)- my friend M introduced me to this band and I instantly fell in love. :’) music recommendations are always welcome!

Someone like me

On a night like this

how do I know better?

Lilac liquid has passed my lips,

staining my vest

and hailing a veil of mist,

all anxieties evaporated.

 

Lights cast a yellow haze

and shitty music plays,

blaring in my ears though

people far gone charging past

emitting squeals no one can miss.

 

Glistening bodies moving to the beat,

fires lit, alcohol thrown back

and sexy cop hat

passed around numerous heads.

 

And all that matters to me

is the attention he’s giving me:

my body craves company

(it’s tempting, it really is

what’s to stop me from leaning in;

a kiss is a kiss)

but my mind does too –

cool rush of air flowing in from outside this October night

shakes me awake.

 

“He’s a really nice guy”

I think so too…

maybe in another universe, my answer would be ‘yes’-

in this one though,

residual regret

is all I’d be left with

once the fog lifts.

 

– Nix

Notes: featured image not mine

I know it’s late now but I wrote this today remembering it is the 31st and in the spirit of Halloween, I told a tale of the scariest thing of all: life. This is only the second draft.

I’ll do the party update here since there’s not too much I can say. I enjoyed it much more than I thought I would though – I was basically in charge of the music for most of the time I was there so that was fun. And I tried half a beer (too awful to finish) then a can of dark fruits cider was thrown at me from the garden up to the balcony/deck thing so I tried some. That was surprisingly nice. And I was actually at the party longer than my friend because she got wasted. The overall experience has rather generously given me a bit of inspo.

On the last day of half term I managed to be more productive (college-wise) than I had all half term and it was extremely satisfying to finish by 7pm then have time to brainstorm content without the crushing guilt of “I should be doing my homework”. You’d think I’d try to do that more often but no, unfortunately I often lack motivation.

I got my feedback back for the first drafts my English coursework and let’s just say it was savage and I don’t feel like editing it. It only counts towards 20% of my whole A-level and there’s a total 3250 word limit for the 3 pieces all together and I simply cannot. Usually it’s good that I’m very analytical/meticulous…

Also I don’t appreciate the new seating plan in my Geography lesson, as if I need more things to dislike about it. Okay, moan over.

I hope everyone has a happy Halloween/31st of October 😛

Edit: Some of my posts now actually post successfully the first time but not always, it’s very strange.

Song: FML by K.Flay (Vanic remix) (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lJ1NYJQnJTI)

“Am I imagining it?”

That brief spark between us.

…I must be;

it is dark, our faces dimly illuminated by the street lamp,

the shadows fall perfectly, framing her face,

our breaths melting into the darkness…

oddly alluring.

 

Was it just the night’s inebriation talking?

 

But before we said our goodbyes and parted, I could’ve sworn

the way she looked at me

let me see

a look I had never seen on her before;

a temporary lapse in filter.

I thought I saw a twinkle in her eyes

which were outlined in black, mascara-painted eyelashes spidery from a day’s wear –

I could almost get sucked into those eyes, aquamarine with bursts of amber.

And I couldn’t help but notice her peach coloured lips.

 

A suppressed smile probably crept upon my face

as I slowly made my way back to the warmth of the waiting car.

 

– Nix

Notes: featured image not mine.

I’m never 100% sure whether I use semi colons correctly but sometimes commas and dashes don’t seem fitting.

These latest poems haven’t been my favourite but I hope someone out there finds them vaguely entertaining. And yes I posted at midnight because I couldn’t wait for a more ‘civilised’ hour on Tuesday (which is when I usually post if you’re new to my blog, hi:-) ). Feedback always appreciated.

Song: Shallow Love by Gabrielle Aplin (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LovisM0mPwY)