Someone like me

On a night like this

how do I know better?

Lilac liquid has passed my lips,

staining my vest

and hailing a veil of mist,

all anxieties evaporated.


Lights cast a yellow haze

and shitty music plays,

blaring in my ears though

people far gone charging past

emitting squeals no one can miss.


Glistening bodies moving to the beat,

fires lit, alcohol thrown back

and sexy cop hat

passed around numerous heads.


And all that matters to me

is the attention he’s giving me:

my body craves company

(it’s tempting, it really is

what’s to stop me from leaning in;

a kiss is a kiss)

but my mind does too –

cool rush of air flowing in from outside this October night

shakes me awake.


“He’s a really nice guy”

I think so too…

maybe in another universe, my answer would be ‘yes’-

in this one though,

residual regret

is all I’d be left with

once the fog lifts.


– Nix

Notes: featured image not mine

I know it’s late now but I wrote this today remembering it is the 31st and in the spirit of Halloween, I told a tale of the scariest thing of all: life. This is only the second draft.

I’ll do the party update here since there’s not too much I can say. I enjoyed it much more than I thought I would though – I was basically in charge of the music for most of the time I was there so that was fun. And I tried half a beer (too awful to finish) then a can of dark fruits cider was thrown at me from the garden up to the balcony/deck thing so I tried some. That was surprisingly nice. And I was actually at the party longer than my friend because she got wasted. The overall experience has rather generously given me a bit of inspo.

On the last day of half term I managed to be more productive (college-wise) than I had all half term and it was extremely satisfying to finish by 7pm then have time to brainstorm content without the crushing guilt of “I should be doing my homework”. You’d think I’d try to do that more often but no, unfortunately I often lack motivation.

I got my feedback back for the first drafts my English coursework and let’s just say it was savage and I don’t feel like editing it. It only counts towards 20% of my whole A-level and there’s a total 3250 word limit for the 3 pieces all together and I simply cannot. Usually it’s good that I’m very analytical/meticulous…

Also I don’t appreciate the new seating plan in my Geography lesson, as if I need more things to dislike about it. Okay, moan over.

I hope everyone has a happy Halloween/31st of October 😛

Edit: Some of my posts now actually post successfully the first time but not always, it’s very strange.

Song: FML by K.Flay (Vanic remix) (


8 thoughts on “Someone like me

  1. Hey! A quick one, my posts aren’t visible here with other posts after adding different tags too & also after have been successfully posted! Is it something I’m missing on?


    1. Here as in on your reader? If you’ve unfollowed yourself they don’t show up, but if they don’t come up on your blog they might be dated a few weeks ago rather than the day you posted them (which happened to me). If not, sorry I can’t help :/ try contacting wordpress support?

      Liked by 1 person

      1. That’s the problem! I can’t see my posts in reader & i haven’t even unfollowed myself. 😦
        Guess have to contact WordPress support only. Btw thanks.

        Liked by 1 person

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