Tag Archives: party

In the moment

Running lukewarm through

my veins, unfulfilled hopes quashed,

tension waned; mellow.

Music swaying, lips seeking

easy, dizzying nectar.


– Nix

Notes: featured image not mine

I can only be succinct/concise in my poems and not my essays, it seems…

And yes I reposted this just now as the first one didn’t appear at the top of my blog for some reason.

Song: Everybody’s Watching Me (Uh Oh) by The Neighbourhood (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D7FeTsK3Vr4)¬†– listened to the I Love You album on repeat whilst writing this. The voice reminds me of the kind of melancholic feeling I get from listening to Lana Del Rey too, but more relaxing.


Someone like me

On a night like this

how do I know better?

Lilac liquid has passed my lips,

staining my vest

and hailing a veil of mist,

all anxieties evaporated.


Lights cast a yellow haze

and shitty music plays,

blaring in my ears though

people far gone charging past

emitting squeals no one can miss.


Glistening bodies moving to the beat,

fires lit, alcohol thrown back

and sexy cop hat

passed around numerous heads.


And all that matters to me

is the attention he’s giving me:

my body craves company

(it’s tempting, it really is

what’s to stop me from leaning in;

a kiss is a kiss)

but my mind does too –

cool rush of air flowing in from outside this October night

shakes me awake.


“He’s a really nice guy”

I think so too…

maybe in another universe, my answer would be ‘yes’-

in this one though,

residual regret

is all I’d be left with

once the fog lifts.


– Nix

Notes: featured image not mine

I know it’s late now but I wrote this today remembering it is the 31st and in the spirit of Halloween, I told a tale of the scariest thing of all: life. This is only the second draft.

I’ll do the party update here since there’s not too much I can say. I enjoyed it much more than I thought I would though – I was basically in charge of the music for most of the time I was there so that was fun. And I tried half a beer (too awful to finish) then a can of dark fruits cider was thrown at me from the garden up to the balcony/deck thing so I tried some. That was surprisingly nice. And I was actually at the party longer than my friend because she got wasted. The overall experience has rather generously given me a bit of inspo.

On the last day of half term I managed to be more productive (college-wise) than I had all half term and it was extremely satisfying to finish by 7pm then have time to brainstorm content without the crushing guilt of “I should be doing my homework”. You’d think I’d try to do that more often but no, unfortunately I often lack motivation.

I got my feedback back for the first drafts my English coursework and let’s just say it was savage and I don’t feel like editing it. It only counts towards 20% of my whole A-level and there’s a total 3250 word limit for the 3 pieces all together and I simply cannot. Usually it’s good that I’m very analytical/meticulous…

Also I don’t appreciate the new seating plan in my Geography lesson, as if I need more things to dislike about it. Okay, moan over.

I hope everyone has a happy Halloween/31st of October ūüėõ

Edit: Some of my posts now actually post successfully the first time but not always, it’s very strange.

Song: FML by K.Flay (Vanic remix) (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lJ1NYJQnJTI)

October social life and Halloween costume planning (update)

Life is pretty decent at the moment, except when I’m faced with¬†Edexcel Geography, the bane¬†of my existence. Most of my happiest days coincide when I’m¬†with my friends¬†or when I’m up north – London is overrated, fight me. ūüėõ

Anyway my friendship groups seem stable now, or maybe stagnant. I now think that drifting from my former closest friend was actually good for me. When one door closes, another opens, as they say.

A friend of a friend added me on Facebook a while ago but now we like each other’s posts/dank memes. I seem to have a knack for encountering LGBTQ+ people or maybe vice versa. Our mutual friend actually got us to talk to each other recently. I’m learning some surprising and exciting things.

So October has been an unusually social month for me, hence this post.¬†Don’t worry, I’m getting to the Halloween part. My friend, let’s call her L (not to be confused with L Lawliet), invited me as her plus-one to the Halloween party this week. credit-l-lawliet-smile

This is awesome for me because a) this household doesn’t celebrate Halloween – my only (distant) memories of past Halloweens involve me having chicken pox and our front door getting egged, b) I don’t get invited to parties, yeah I know,¬†what a surprise¬†and¬†c) I get to spend more time with my friends. (Also it’s weird how¬†massive Halloween seems¬†in America. Or is that just in the movies about those rich suburban families? Either way, I feel like I’m missing out.)

Okay, moving on. I planned my outfit within a day or two and I might post pictures. It’s going to be inspired by the one and only Carmilla Karnstein, except I’m not going to¬†wear fangs or fake blood or a 19th century dress. I’m going as the webseries one:carmilla-s1

Season 3 completely exceeded my expectations and I can’t wait for the movie. Here is how I would describe it:


I told N from one of my classes about the party and she kindly shared some party wisdom which was: don’t be awkward or that’s what people remember you as at the next party and that it’s good to have at least two friends there so it’s easier to talk to new people…wish me luck.

On the weekend, I went up for a uni open day¬†and revisited a lecture. I spent more time shopping in town than on campus but oh well…I got most of the components for my outfit, including a pair of Doc Martens. I swear everyone I’ve seen with those are either relatable or really cool. The lady in the shop told me to say ‘yes I’m a student’ so I did and¬†I got 10% off! And on the way home I saw a girl with yellow laced ones and she had a tote bag with a satanic star on it which reminded me of Black Butler.

So how is everyone spending Halloween?

Notes: featured image and other pics not mine

I went through all my blog posts and added a link to the song suggestions. Not sure if anyone takes notice of this lil aspect of my blog but music is love, music is life ūüėÄ

Song: mOBSCENE by Marilyn Manson (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mdwZV4Y95Nw)¬†– a slightly different choice to usual but I tried listening to a bit of Manson since my friend likes him, so. He scares me a little though…