Tag Archives: friends

Friendships and the future

January has been interesting so far. Not much has happened exactly, but there’s been a lot of talking.

For instance in Sociology we were doing some Feminism and I casually said that I don’t think I want to get married and that seemed to be shocking. Part of me thinks marriage is just a piece of paper and the other thinks it’s more commitment than I’d ever be ready for. The average cost of a wedding is just over £20,000 but I’d definitely have a low-key one if I was going to have one. My friend reminded me that I could wear a suit if I wanted (I feel horrible in dresses and skirts).

I’ve had some ups and downs in my one of my friendships but we’re close again thankfully. I haven’t known him that long but he offered to take me out for my 18th birthday which I’m looking forward to.

I got invited to go to celebrate Chinese New Year (28th January) with some friends but I don’t think I’ll go because I’m socially awkward.

L’s birthday was two weeks ago and I didn’t have time to get a present so I got her a bath bomb from Lush last week. And I bet £5 that I won’t get any A* grades for my A-levels. Hopefully I’m wrong but it’s not long until my exams.

I treated myself to Firewatch – it was on Steam for £9 that day and it looked beautiful in the trailer so I thought why not?

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Ollie had his first experience of snow.

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All my friends seem to have replied to their uni offers, so I’ve made my firm and insurance choices now too. I did better than I thought I would in my mocks considering I hadn’t really revised – approximately one A and two B’s. I can now just focus on studying hard…

I say as I spent last weekend drawing instead of making revision notes:

Clue: “When I close my eyes it’s like a dark paradise”

Clue: “You were red and you liked me ’cause I was blue. You touched me and suddenly I was a lilac sky. And you decided purple just wasn’t for you.”

I did an experimental watercolour background then outlined in 4B pencil before finishing in biro.

Q: Can you recognise who these portraits are of? 🙂

Sadly I haven’t improved my skills much since I dropped the subject after secondary school.

I brought Cards Against Humanity into college earlier this week and 11 people in total ended up playing so it took  a while! It was fun though, I think I came 2nd with 4 black cards and M came 1st with 7 black cards. Now you can tell who I really am :’)img_4981

I traded belated Christmas presents with M and unlike him I didn’t scoff the lot in the first 12 hours but I can confirm the Twirl Bites are gone now.img_4970 

Notes: featured image mine, above photos taken on my phone camera

(A: Lana Del Rey and Halsey)

I’m excited for 2017 except the part about Brexit and Trump/Pence. That’s scary.

It’s quite worrying that since Trump has been sworn in, pages such as civil rights, climate change, healthcare, immigration and LGBT rights have disappeared from the White House website ( https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2017/jan/20/white-house-website-trump-policy-agenda).

On the bright side, it was amazing to see how many took part in the Women’s marches. We have to fight back. These are some photos I saw on Twitter/Snapchat which seemed quite fitting:

It’s not fair that a bunch of old white men get to decide what women can and can’t do. No uterus, no opinion.

I’m still struggling to be inspired for poems at the moment and my college workload is increasing so I might not post next week.

Any words of motivation to get work done would be really appreciated. 🙂

Song: Angels Will Rise by Twisted Jukebox (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0zAspzNfHCs)

Reading Is the Most Fun a Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off

Ayy, did anyone get that Panic! At The Disco reference? The point is, a friend offered her spare P!ATD concert ticket as none of her other friends seem to want to go. She’s so sweet, she gave it to me for free too. This will be my first concert so I’m pretty nervous but also pumped. Is anyone else going to the one on the 20th November/ a fan?

So the reading part of the title of this blog is just because I’ve started reading The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde. For fun. I’ve reached chapter 7 from reading it during my free periods at college partly so that it doesn’t look like I’m twiddling my thumbs. I’m not finding it very thrilling at the moment but from what I’ve heard, things will get interesting. Hopefully I can write a review if I ever finish any of the books I start…img_2139

Funnily enough, I hit it off with a friend’s friend last Friday and today I told him a joke:

“Why did the chicken cross the road? Because she wanted to say hello from the other side.”

Needless to say, eyes rolled. Although I told it to my classmate too and she laughed. Good-natured laughter especially when I cause it, is one of my favourite moments. As are the silly things our Ollie does (he tried to bite the ice scraper today but it was on the other side of a window). It was a video clip but I have a free account so WordPress wouldn’t let me post it, so here is a screenshot:img_2142

Today happens to be not only the voting day for the US 2016 election but my friend’s birthday. Great present :’) But in all seriousness, I hope America’s next President is not going to be one who is an openly xenophobic, homophobic, misogynistic, disablist tyrant who thinks tax evasion is smart and would date his daughter if she wasn’t his daughter.

Anyway, on Sunday I went to see The Accountant (maybe I was swayed by the fact Anna Kendrick is in it) but it was actually really good. Check it out! We missed the first showing of the day because of traffic which was exacerbated by the London to Brighton Veteran Car Run. While we were stuck I saw a vintage looking convertible which I thought looked quite suave (can I even use that word in this context? Oh well).img_2045

I also wore a hoodie to college for the first time in months. That’s when you know it’s definitely autumn/winter which are probably my favourite seasons because I love feeling snug and cuddly. Although I will wait until December at least until I start wearing my Christmas pudding beanie – I’m not that uncivilised. img_2138

Notes: featured image not mine but other photos in this post are

Since the problems with posting I have stopped scheduling posts in case they go wrong and I haven’t had much time to write more creative posts, sorry readers.

Song: Lying Is the Most Fun a Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off by Panic! At The Disco (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8AZxUtZ2ZgI)

October social life and Halloween costume planning (update)

Life is pretty decent at the moment, except when I’m faced with Edexcel Geography, the bane of my existence. Most of my happiest days coincide when I’m with my friends or when I’m up north – London is overrated, fight me. 😛

Anyway my friendship groups seem stable now, or maybe stagnant. I now think that drifting from my former closest friend was actually good for me. When one door closes, another opens, as they say.

A friend of a friend added me on Facebook a while ago but now we like each other’s posts/dank memes. I seem to have a knack for encountering LGBTQ+ people or maybe vice versa. Our mutual friend actually got us to talk to each other recently. I’m learning some surprising and exciting things.

So October has been an unusually social month for me, hence this post. Don’t worry, I’m getting to the Halloween part. My friend, let’s call her L (not to be confused with L Lawliet), invited me as her plus-one to the Halloween party this week. credit-l-lawliet-smile

This is awesome for me because a) this household doesn’t celebrate Halloween – my only (distant) memories of past Halloweens involve me having chicken pox and our front door getting egged, b) I don’t get invited to parties, yeah I know, what a surprise and c) I get to spend more time with my friends. (Also it’s weird how massive Halloween seems in America. Or is that just in the movies about those rich suburban families? Either way, I feel like I’m missing out.)

Okay, moving on. I planned my outfit within a day or two and I might post pictures. It’s going to be inspired by the one and only Carmilla Karnstein, except I’m not going to wear fangs or fake blood or a 19th century dress. I’m going as the webseries one:carmilla-s1

Season 3 completely exceeded my expectations and I can’t wait for the movie. Here is how I would describe it:

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I told N from one of my classes about the party and she kindly shared some party wisdom which was: don’t be awkward or that’s what people remember you as at the next party and that it’s good to have at least two friends there so it’s easier to talk to new people…wish me luck.

On the weekend, I went up for a uni open day and revisited a lecture. I spent more time shopping in town than on campus but oh well…I got most of the components for my outfit, including a pair of Doc Martens. I swear everyone I’ve seen with those are either relatable or really cool. The lady in the shop told me to say ‘yes I’m a student’ so I did and I got 10% off! And on the way home I saw a girl with yellow laced ones and she had a tote bag with a satanic star on it which reminded me of Black Butler.

So how is everyone spending Halloween?

Notes: featured image and other pics not mine

I went through all my blog posts and added a link to the song suggestions. Not sure if anyone takes notice of this lil aspect of my blog but music is love, music is life 😀

Song: mOBSCENE by Marilyn Manson (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mdwZV4Y95Nw) – a slightly different choice to usual but I tried listening to a bit of Manson since my friend likes him, so. He scares me a little though…

Wallflower Power

I’m usually overlooked because I’m the quiet odd one out in my class.

(This year none of my friends are in any of my classes, again. Although I saw the girl I sat next to in Geography last year as I came out of my lesson. Unfortunately I couldn’t hang around but we talked and she amusedly recounted how our mutual friend was freaking out about me – allegedly, of course – giving her my cold. I can’t keep skipping days and I only came in to play badminton after college, in my defence. Gotta power through the snuffles!)

Sorry, I’ll get back to the point.

This seems to give people some sense of security as they’ll talk as if I’m not there. Sometimes they something funny and I have to try not to smile. Though I failed and just laughed one time.

Other times, I wish I could block out their voices because I’m hearing TMI…

Anyway in a recent Geography lesson, I overheard a guy saying he had gone to a red light district. And I don’t think that has anything to do with the Sichuan earthquake of 2008. Not sure why, can’t quite place it.

The moral of the story: quiet people are often inadvertently put in in privileged position. What if you ran for Prime Minister later? :-O

On a more serious note, I know so many quiet people who are actually really cool once you get to know them.

A question I got asked a lot when I was at school was “Why are you so quiet?” and the answer is because none of my friends were there and lessons are for learning not chatting. I say that while I’ve been mostly talking to the person next to me in English this year so far. I don’t think I’ll get a good grade on my interim report but YOLO I got perfect grades on last year’s, and I have about eight months to make up for it. And to be fair, we are doing coursework at the moment so our teachers just leave us to our own devices. I work better at home.

So people shouldn’t dismiss us quiet people. I can be an asset – from being your trusty stationery-lender, I can help with work (the non-Science/Maths kind) to lending ear and offering a fresh perspective.

I think I can be a fun person. Well, I hope so, you just have to bear with my initial social awkwardness. Maybe I’d surprise you. DUN DUN DUN.

Are you a confident or shy person like me? Leave a comment below. And have you ever overheard some amusing or plain bizarre conversations?

Notes: featured image not mine.

Also I don’t think WordPress actually posted this when I tried to publish it this morning. I tried to retype it as close to the original I could. I’m really annoyed at WordPress for this. Has anyone else had this problem? I’m using the mobile app at the moment.

Edit: Apparently I posted this on the 19th, but if I did I didn’t mean to and why was it still in my drafts then? I’ll keep this version.

Song: After Hours by Adam Lambert (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NVFnT_ESm3I)

Meeting New People 101

Two summary points from the postmodernist view of society:

  • Media
  • Consumeristic

(Source: https://revisesociology.com/2016/04/09/from-modernity-to-post-modernity/)

The advancement of technology and social media has led to huge growth in usage and the creation of new networks. So now there’s more reliance on the media which allows people to connect all with people over the world within the privacy of their home.

Last but not least, consumerism. There’s such a wide range of products and services available to us now and leisure tends to be more important than working.

The first two factors can sometimes make keeping in contact difficult but on the flip side, they all give way to new opportunities.

Good Places to Talk to/Meet People (or maybe make friends):

  • Clubs/extracurricular activities – find people you have things in common with and depending on the activity, get fit at the same time!
  • Gyms/sports centres (kinda the same as the above)
  • Volunteering/work – gain experience, have something to put on your CV/personal statement, be productive while helping others (bonus: it might make you feel more positive too)
  • Book shops/libraries/comic book shops – surrounded by things to talk about,  you can release your inner nerd
  • Pubs/bars/restaurants/takeaways – I’ve not yet gone to a bar but the lovely Burmese lady who does the best Chinese takeaways likes me (my order is always the same: egg fried rice)
  • Parks – when my mum walks our 9 month old golden labrador she often bumps into the same group of dog owners there and they talk about dogs unsurprisingly
  • Concerts/festivals – I really want to go to one so I would love to hear your experiences!
  • School/college/uniI’ve always been told the friends you’ll end up with are the ones you make at uni but I’m not there yet so I can’t say
  • Online – e.g. in gaming, YouTube etc. I’ve made a friend through the former

Soo pretty much anywhere.

When face to face in an unfamiliar setting I generally wait for someone else to initiate a conversation because I’m too shy but my general tips for starting a conversation and keeping it up are:

  • Make use of the situation – E.g. offer to carry some stuff if it looks like they’re struggling and maybe it’ll lead to a chat. Or suggest a similar book to/comment on what book they picked up.
  • Read body language before initiating/make sure you are approachable – probably obvious but important. I usually attempt a brief smile when I say hi
  • Clear voice and friendly tone – If you start with a joke it’s got to sound like you’re not being too serious…I’m frequently guilty of mumbling and I also struggle at sounding genuine or not mean sometimes
  • Polite/adjusting what kind of things you say according to their personality – I’d rather be safe than come off as pushy or rude. Small risks could pay off, you never know. Sometimes you’re able to figure out what their sense of humour is, for example
  • Be attentive and relevant and try to balance what you say with how much they say – nothing is more awkward than misremembering a detail like their name if you end up hitting it off. I have a rubbish memory so after the conversation, I may note down key points. Oversharing is just as bad as undersharing
  • Try not to give closed answers/give them something to work with – E.g. elaborate on why it’s you’re favourite tv show or ask what theirs is
  • Be yourself – as no one can be a better you than you (credit to whoever came up with the that). It’s not fun to talk to people who don’t seem genuine. It’s alright to have different or similar opinions and it’s okay to be weird; it means you’re interesting!
  • Ask if they come here often/if you’ll see them here again (or along those lines) – if you would like to talk more but don’t want to overstep boundaries you can just be neutral in case they don’t feel the same. Or ask if they have instagram or kik, those can be impersonal apps

Of course if you don’t want to keep talking to them, basically just do the opposite of all these tips. However, it’s probably more polite to make an excuse like “oh I’ve got to go now, I said I’d meet so and so”. I hope these help.

Song: I listened to Year 3000 by Busted (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tu7HoGZaspo) while writing. Old songs are great. Hope you are enjoying the Rio Olympics. What’s your favourite event and who are you supporting? And if you have any other tips feel free to share.

Notes: This post is inspired by my fourth day of volunteering at my local library. Although I’m pessimistic about the new volunteer I met actually contacting me. Anyway the first half will briefly cover the sociological perspective postmodernism (it’s related, I swear…) If you’re towards the introvert side of the spectrum like me, the second half may be for you – some tips. And featured image is not mine.