Sometimes I like it empty:
isolation can tempt me
as anxiety averts me from a congested room
and being tired tends to make social interaction my tomb.
Or I like to be around my friends
(who I see rarely on weekends,
though they do make me smile)
or walk unfamiliar crowds once in a while
where I can go unnoticed because they
don’t know me and when I go away
they won’t remember me
so I don’t care – I feel free.
I hate feeling eyes on me
athough I’ve found music is key,
and on my own, time is of no concern
but a room full of people will make my stomach churn
so before leaving, I scan
for the easiest escape route as an
unwanted encounter is the last thing I need.
Meanwhile I must fight the rising nerves, I
must keep my breathing under control, say goodbye
which when I do, no one hears
but at least the fresh air nears.
Notes: featured image not mine – credit: Ink by Esad Hajdarevic (https://www.flickr.com/photos/heidarewitsch/) (source: https://www.flickr.com/photos/heidarewitsch/4660832612) licensed under CC BY 2.0
I know the rhyme scheme makes the poem disjointed but I’m only a fledgling poet…
It’s so weird posting on Tuesdays now, I’m out of habit. Did two tests in class today, only revised for the subject which I want to do at uni though…Got a call from one of the universities I put as a choice on my UCAS form which I’ve sent off now but it was a complete anti-climax as they were just asking if I wanted to come to another open day but I’ve already made my mind up! Awkward. Yesterday I managed to cut my elbow on a pillow. The zip. My scars have the lamest stories behind them, seriously. Just think of me next time you feel you’ve done something idiotically clumsy 😛 I also went on a bike ride last weekend for the first time in over a year but I’m not sure if it’ll ever be the same, which makes me sad (I hate running).
I added some links to my previous post of things you could do that might help, I’ll put them here too:
Song: Stay In My Memory by Bim