Eyelids heavy

pulse steady

life’s remedy.


– Nix

Notes: featured image not mine

Hope everyone is having happy holidays. ūüôā

May go on hiatus due to mock exams coming up.

It’s been extra stressful these past two weeks since several members of the family including myself have been in and out of hospitals/doctors.

I wanted to post a Christmassy poem on Christmas Day but I got stuck for ideas, so next time maybe!

Song: The A Team by Ed Sheeran (


The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde – Book Review

Spoiler alert.

Interestingly, I think I would have enjoyed this novel more if I had had to study it for English because then I would have been able to understand and appreciate it a lot more.

Nonetheless it kept me fairly engaged Рthat is, other than the long philosophical sounding passages. At first I tried to read and grasp every sentence but halfway through the book I only skim-read them instead.

Anyway I was really drawn to this novel simply¬†because of the concept: the extraordinary picture of Dorian Gray¬†– painted by Basil Hallward, who is “charmed by his looks”. Dorian’s sinful acts¬†and ageing translate into grotesque features which gradually appear on¬†the painting whilst Dorian himself remains youthful. I had to find out more!

The blurb (I cut out the bit I just explained above) seems to sum up the themes of the novel well I think:

But when Sir Henry Wotton visits and seduces Dorian into the worship of youthful beauty with an intoxicating speech, Dorian makes a wish he will live to regret…The stage is now set for a masterful tale about appearance, reality, art, life, truth, fiction and the burden of conscience.

The novel is only about 200 pages which is manageable.¬†I found the first couple of chapters a bit boring to be honest. It wasn’t until Sibyl Vane that I became more engaged but after that, certain events felt kind of predictable – especially on the last pages.

I feel like the gothic genre¬†is like a tragedy by nature and if there’s a name in the title, you have an idea of what will happen to that character.¬†After everything Dorian did, you can imagine how¬†hideous he must have looked in the end.

Basil’s demise was an exception. I wasn’t expecting that. Poor Basil.¬†Now that part of the novel was really…grisly? Sordid?¬†Not sure¬†what¬†describes it well. By this point I didn’t really admire any of the characters, not that I think I was supposed to, just how they were written. I think that Dorian Gray by the end of the novel¬†is very self-centred, shallow,¬†impressionable, dishonest and monstrous.¬†(Why Dorian listened to virtually everything Sir Henry Wotton said is what I’d like to know.)

It’s hard for me to think of a specific thing that made me like this novel because it’s certainly not my favourite book. I think¬†not being able to understand everything was part of its charm for me – the challenge. And the romantic undertones because the kind of genre it falls under is great but I find it a bit dry without any¬†intimate aspects (like in¬†Jekyll and Hyde –¬†I find that¬†lawyer Mr Utterson as dull and reserved as he’s described to be). I guess that goes for most things I read or watch.

One thing I will say though is that it’s a thought-provoking novel¬†because it presents a lot of ideas about life and people and it has characters that I can connect with better than in the other gothic stuff I’ve read/began to read (The Man of the Crowd, Dracula, Jekyll and¬†Hyde). And as someone who¬†likes art, I found ideas about that particularly interesting.

There were also some odd remarks about women but I feel that’s par for the course given the time the novel was written and maybe because the author is Oscar Wilde. As far as I can remember, most of these remarks came from the peculiar Sir Henry Wotton (he seemed to take pleasure in influencing the¬†young¬†Dorian). At first, the comments made me frown but they amused me afterwards. One of them was “When a woman marries again, it is because she detested her first husband. When a man marries again, it is because he adored his first wife. Women try their luck; men risk theirs”.

And these are some of my overall favourite quotes:

To define is to limit

Nowadays people know the price of everything and the value of nothing

Laughter is not at all a bad beginning for a friendship, and it is by far the best ending for one

Every portrait that is painted with feeling is a portrait of the artist, not of the sitter

My final verdict is that The¬†Picture of Dorian Gray is¬†worth a read if you think you’d like this sort of thing.

Notes: featured image taken on my camera

What book are you currently reading? And if you have any gothic fiction recommendations I’d love to hear them. ūüôā

Sorry my first review was a mess, I’ve realised I need to keep focused so here is my second attempt at a (still clearly ¬†amateurish) book review…If you don’t try you can’t succeed ūüėõ

I noticed the¬†posts that¬†I don’t expect to do well actually get more likes, it’s strange – maybe this could be one of them.

Song: Love The Way You Lie by Eminem ft. Rihanna (

Being good pays off

I’ve built up a reputation as¬†reliable student at college, so I slightly¬†exploited it (in¬†quite a mundane, lame way) by taking¬†one or two more¬†sick days than I probably needed – but I doubt anyone will berate me for being absent for this first time this academic year…

So I guess I won’t be going on Santa’s nice list this year.

The prospect of a double Geography lesson yesterday just didn’t really appeal to me.

And to be fair, it is the end of term. What have you gotten away with before?

I decided to come in today though¬†and I’m glad I did – we only had a half day which meant I didn’t have my usual Geography lesson (yay).¬†Our Sociology teacher is honestly an awesome guy (although his handwriting is like another language so I can never read it).

As a class, we played quizzes for the first hour. Has anyone played “Kahoot!” before? Well, we did, and the girl I sit next to is super-competitive like me so it was really intense but fun. Everyone worked in pairs against each other and we¬†worked through 75 Crime and Deviance-related questions. Basically, the quicker you¬†correctly answer,¬†the more points you get.

Sadly we got pipped to the post and came 3rd place although we were 1st for a good five or ten minutes. The class even got to share a tub of Celebrations (and I meant to take a photo before but forgot).

And my friend gave me the last quarter of her chocolate chip cookie that she got from the canteen in the break – she does that a lot, but I’m not complaining!

I’m not even lying about the next thing I’m about to tell you: for the rest of the lesson we were either allowed to make balloon animals or start revising.

Also, while I have been off, I have written some stories but they’re not going to see the light of day. I do however, have three (currently incomplete) stories that I may post in the future – one of them is an apocalypse scenario. I do actually write quite a lot, I’m just notoriously bad at finishing anything…

This Friday I’ll either post¬†my review of The Picture of Dorian Gray or a poem I think.

Anyway it’s Christmas on Sunday, how did it come round so fast?! ūüėÄ What songs do you listen to in order to get into the holiday spirit?

Notes: featured image not mine

Song: Remember The Name by Fort Minor ft. Styles of Beyond (

What it’s like to overthink

I don’t know what’s worse;

to have a full day, or to

have time to myself.


– Nix

Notes: featured image not mine

First world problems, I know but it’s getting very irritating when wordpress swallows your blog post¬†into an abyss of nothingness – the first time I tried posting this it¬†didn’t¬†appear published, nor did it stay in my drafts, as far as I know.¬†Couldn’t even find it buried in¬†my older posts.¬†Fortunately it was just a haiku.

Song: Car Radio by Twenty One Pilots (

’tis the season to be ill

Everyone gets ill running up to Christmas, it’s just the tradition, right?

Winter’s like “Hey, long time no see! Here, have a free problem.”

I will admit I’m blessed with a fairly robust immune system though, unlike my friends who are like, always ill. Somehow I don’t tend to catch their colds. And this year I got my first flu jab.

Anyway, ordinary tasks are physically painful at the moment. I hope it clears up soon. It took months for me to feel “normal” again after last time, so I’m really quite stressed…

The doctor even suggested I don’t go into college tomorrow so I’m not gonna argue. :’) It’s actually really frustrating because I never skip days unless I’m actually ill because I hate having the disadvantage of catching up on work on my own.

Well…one time I woke up with a migraine and by midday it was gone but I stayed at home playing Mario Kart wii. Other than that, I don’t think I’ve ever bunked from school/college. If you have, I’d like to hear what excuses you made ūüėõ

And is it just me or does it not feel Christmassy? Should I feel ashamed that my Christmas tree isn’t even up yet?!

I’ve only bought one person a present so far (and that was a pack of dark chocolate Kit Kats) because I’m a tad broke at the moment and I don’t want to make my friends feel obliged to get me something. I honestly just love getting people things.

However, I may not be the best present-chooser since I suck at retaining information about people’s likes and dislikes. (Now I note down those things so that I have an idea for when I go present-hunting.)

I would also just like to say the girl on the table in front of mine in one of my classes ¬†is really cool – she brings an array of teabags with her so she can brew tea in the breaks between double lessons! If that’s not British, I don’t know what is.

I hope you’re having a better week than me. ūüôā

Notes: featured image not mine

As I posted this I realised I was meant to post on Tuesday as per usual, so that was handy. This one happened quite organically.

Song: Sex¬†On Fire by Kings of Leon ( – I got back into Kings of Leon after remembering this is one of my friend’s favourite songs

A Good Start to December

This is just another little update, kind of also a haul/favourite things post I suppose.

I shamelessly indulged in a bit of retail therapy when the Black Friday sales came around this year. Doc Martens had selected items with 30% discounts! So I got these dark grey rigal shoes:img_3655Fantastic Beasts has come out¬†–¬†I haven’t seen it yet but I was hoping to go with the girl I want to get to know. Then¬†I found out she’s already seen it.¬†DUN DUN DUN. I’m mulling over whether to give her the Christmas card I made. She said hello to me today and oh my god that makes me feel warm and happy. I love how certain people just make your day.

Some people have got their Christmas trees up already. On the topic of Christmas, I wore my penguin jumper to college this week:img_3654

And today I made some Christmas cards. I enjoy making or receiving personal/hand-crafted cards, packaging or presents so I definitely recommend giving it a go!

What I did:

  • Cut out designs from old Christmas cards and used pritt stick to stick them on an A5¬†piece of folded paper.
  • Picked the Death Note anime font (pictured below –¬†and wrote “Happy Xmas”. death-note-font-alphabet-2
  • ¬†Printed out pictures (or drew) things the that my friends like and added jokes/memes.
  • On some of the cards I made a simple pop-up in the card and stuck a picture of their favourite character or¬†celebrity¬†with a Christmas hat on. img_3663

I’ve also been invited to party but¬†now I have Pok√©mon Moon…does anyone really need to interact with other humans? I may or may not have played 10 hours on Saturday…

I chose a boy avatar and named myself after a meme for once. Whaddya think of my modern quiff?

img_3658This was my party, I have been going with a fictional character theme – Lady Narborough, Dorian Gray and Alan Campbell. I’m half way through the novel at the moment. If anyone here has picked up the game, which starter did you pick and why?


Rizzoli and Isles season 6 DVD finally arrived and I’ve been getting back into that show. It’s probably one of my favourites because it’s got the mystery aspect, the chemistry between the two main characters, it’s rampant with comedy – it’s a great pick-me-up. The theme tune is enough to make me smile.img_3661And it’s really bad of me, but I’ve had a double chocolate muffin/a cookie from the college canteen for breakfast on three occasions in the past two weeks.

Lastly, although it¬†slightly restores my faith in humanity, the fact that strangers at college ask me if I’m okay has led me to the conclusion that I have Resting Depressed Face rather than Resting Bitch Face. Does anyone else experience this?

Notes: featured image not mine

Song: I’m Shipping Up To Boston by Dropkick Murphys ( – similar to Rizzoli and Isles theme song


Steamy and a chance of showers

Faced away from the glorious cascade,

I’m swept up by the water’s warm embrace,

I listen to the pitter patter of its dance,

feeling the water chase the stress away.


The cobwebs in my mind now blown,

sets me free

from the demand of modernity.


And then the water droplets land

on the tiles

now causing ripples –

time to get out,

feel the cold slap of reality.


– Nix

Notes: featured image not mine

The title is inspired by that Cloudy and a Chance of Meatballs movie but to be honest there’s no reason – just felt like naming the post this :’)

I’m not very satisfied with the content I’m posting recently and I’m going to put that mostly down to rushing – yep, even though I spent more time writing for fun than I had for my English coursework…

I should probably change my tagline¬†and I want to change the blog name too but I haven’t¬†thought of¬†a new one¬†and it could confuse people. Edit: I changed them to what I think my blog is at the moment, whaddya think?

Anyway I’m going to keep writing and¬†try to write more creatively than I have been. I’ve gained way more followers¬†than I thought I would when I started this blog – thank you,¬†readers.¬†At this rate, maybe I will reach 100 followers by¬†February.¬†Hopefully you’ll start to see more than just poems and life updates on this blog.

Song: Young God by Halsey (¬†– if you like Troye Sivan’s music I think you’d like hers and vice versa ūüôā