Category Archives: journal

Friendships and the future

January has been interesting so far. Not much has happened exactly, but there’s been a lot of talking.

For instance in Sociology we were doing some Feminism and I casually said that I don’t think I want to get married and that seemed to be shocking. Part of me thinks marriage is just a piece of paper and the other thinks it’s more commitment than I’d ever be ready for. The average cost of a wedding is just over £20,000 but I’d definitely have a low-key one if I was going to have one. My friend reminded me that I could wear a suit if I wanted (I feel horrible in dresses and skirts).

I’ve had some ups and downs in my one of my friendships but we’re close again thankfully. I haven’t known him that long but he offered to take me out for my 18th birthday which I’m looking forward to.

I got invited to go to celebrate Chinese New Year (28th January) with some friends but I don’t think I’ll go because I’m socially awkward.

L’s birthday was two weeks ago and I didn’t have time to get a present so I got her a bath bomb from Lush last week. And I bet £5 that I won’t get any A* grades for my A-levels. Hopefully I’m wrong but it’s not long until my exams.

I treated myself to Firewatch – it was on Steam for £9 that day and it looked beautiful in the trailer so I thought why not?

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Ollie had his first experience of snow.

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All my friends seem to have replied to their uni offers, so I’ve made my firm and insurance choices now too. I did better than I thought I would in my mocks considering I hadn’t really revised – approximately one A and two B’s. I can now just focus on studying hard…

I say as I spent last weekend drawing instead of making revision notes:

Clue: “When I close my eyes it’s like a dark paradise”

Clue: “You were red and you liked me ’cause I was blue. You touched me and suddenly I was a lilac sky. And you decided purple just wasn’t for you.”

I did an experimental watercolour background then outlined in 4B pencil before finishing in biro.

Q: Can you recognise who these portraits are of? 🙂

Sadly I haven’t improved my skills much since I dropped the subject after secondary school.

I brought Cards Against Humanity into college earlier this week and 11 people in total ended up playing so it took  a while! It was fun though, I think I came 2nd with 4 black cards and M came 1st with 7 black cards. Now you can tell who I really am :’)img_4981

I traded belated Christmas presents with M and unlike him I didn’t scoff the lot in the first 12 hours but I can confirm the Twirl Bites are gone now.img_4970 

Notes: featured image mine, above photos taken on my phone camera

(A: Lana Del Rey and Halsey)

I’m excited for 2017 except the part about Brexit and Trump/Pence. That’s scary.

It’s quite worrying that since Trump has been sworn in, pages such as civil rights, climate change, healthcare, immigration and LGBT rights have disappeared from the White House website ( https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2017/jan/20/white-house-website-trump-policy-agenda).

On the bright side, it was amazing to see how many took part in the Women’s marches. We have to fight back. These are some photos I saw on Twitter/Snapchat which seemed quite fitting:

It’s not fair that a bunch of old white men get to decide what women can and can’t do. No uterus, no opinion.

I’m still struggling to be inspired for poems at the moment and my college workload is increasing so I might not post next week.

Any words of motivation to get work done would be really appreciated. 🙂

Song: Angels Will Rise by Twisted Jukebox (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0zAspzNfHCs)

Gong xi fa cai

Is Chinese Mandarin for “Wishing you a prosperous year” according to Google.

This isn’t a random language I picked for my belated New Year post though, I’m actually Chinese born but grew up in Britain and never learned Chinese which surprises most people. I would love to speak multiple languages, alas I don’t have the aptitude for it. (What languages can you speak?)

I waited to get my hair cut and dip dyed before writing this so I could share photos…

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I didn’t take very comparable photos but yeah… My hair is naturally straight and black and it’s hard to see the colour under bad lighting. The hairdresser is really cool and helped me pick the brown and persuaded me to let him layer my hair then curl it. (I’m sad that the curls will be gone by Monday which is when people would see it.)

In fact he thought there was a mistake when he saw what I was booked for since I usually have just a straight trim, no layering or colouring :’) I know a lot of people who dye their hair and it’s a new year though, so I thought I’d go for it. I considered colours like electric blue, dark green and red but thought I’d play it safe since it’s the first time I’ve dyed my hair. Do you dye your hair? 🙂

Now I’m gonna rewind a bit, back to the 24th of December 2016.

’twas the night before Christmas…I realised the Christmas card I bought was not a Christmas card. Here is how I rectified that:

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I mean, if you see snow you’re probably gonna assume it’s about Christmas right?

This Christmas was quiet. The novelty has worn off for me. And I was still feeling rough but now I think I’ve recovered (fingers crossed). It’s the one day I try really hard to spend more time with my family instead of on my phone though. Just played Cluedo among other boardgames during the afternoon – a great game for the family, not – which was enjoyable.

A couple of days later, I used my Christmas money to buy Professor Layton and the Miracle Mask – I’m a fan of that series and I play them with my dad (he does the puzzles I can’t solve). I’m enjoying it! Although 3D never really adds to games in my opinion, so I have that turned off. I’ve also been enjoying Pokémon Moon, much better than Pokémon Black/White, Black 2/White 2 or X/Y in my opinion. Refreshing. But nothing in my eyes will ever beat Platinum.img_4335

Then one of my older brothers visited and gave me a chocolate wreath and two beautiful notepads and a pen (the chocolate disappeared very quickly).img_4276

My parents and I (is that correct grammar?) watched the new episode of Sherlock. It was entertaining but I don’t think it made sense that Mary had the time to move Sherlock out the way of the bullet – if that’s possible couldn’t he just move himself..?

We also watched the new episodes of the latest series of Father Brown which HAVE impressed me, although I’ll miss Lady Felicia. I like Bunty’s character too, it’s refreshing. Does anyone here happen to watch Father Brown? I’m really into mystery/police/detective shows…

I have also been binging YouTube videos lately. Mostly of gaming or Cards Against Humanity which cracks me up every time. I was re-watching Until Dawn gameplay until about midnight and then I think I had a nightmare within a nightmare when I fell asleep so I don’t think it wasn’t a good idea!

College is back to normal next week. I only had to be in for one and a half days for the start of term for college this week. :3 If I manage to get a C in all my mocks I’ll be surprised but over the moon. If I got higher than that on my English I’d be amazed because I only did half an hour of revision in the morning on the day (shh). However, people who did the mocks before us did give us hints for Geography and English.

My mum took me for KFC as a treat after to celebrate finishing my mocks which was nice. We browsed some shops but I didn’t buy anything and just ended up making the most of the mirrors in the shops. Docs are love, docs are life.

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May 2017 be a better year than 2016. 😛

…Might be difficult considering Trump is the president-elect and Brexit might be in the works but hey-ho.

Notes: featured image not mine, other photos taken on my phone camera

Edit: I just noticed that typo in the second paragraph, I need an editor to edit my editing clearly :’)

Song: Ho Hey by The Lumineers (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zvCBSSwgtg4)

 

Being good pays off

I’ve built up a reputation as reliable student at college, so I slightly exploited it (in quite a mundane, lame way) by taking one or two more sick days than I probably needed – but I doubt anyone will berate me for being absent for this first time this academic year…

So I guess I won’t be going on Santa’s nice list this year.

The prospect of a double Geography lesson yesterday just didn’t really appeal to me.

And to be fair, it is the end of term. What have you gotten away with before?

I decided to come in today though and I’m glad I did – we only had a half day which meant I didn’t have my usual Geography lesson (yay). Our Sociology teacher is honestly an awesome guy (although his handwriting is like another language so I can never read it).

As a class, we played quizzes for the first hour. Has anyone played “Kahoot!” before? Well, we did, and the girl I sit next to is super-competitive like me so it was really intense but fun. Everyone worked in pairs against each other and we worked through 75 Crime and Deviance-related questions. Basically, the quicker you correctly answer, the more points you get.

Sadly we got pipped to the post and came 3rd place although we were 1st for a good five or ten minutes. The class even got to share a tub of Celebrations (and I meant to take a photo before but forgot).

And my friend gave me the last quarter of her chocolate chip cookie that she got from the canteen in the break – she does that a lot, but I’m not complaining!

I’m not even lying about the next thing I’m about to tell you: for the rest of the lesson we were either allowed to make balloon animals or start revising.

Also, while I have been off, I have written some stories but they’re not going to see the light of day. I do however, have three (currently incomplete) stories that I may post in the future – one of them is an apocalypse scenario. I do actually write quite a lot, I’m just notoriously bad at finishing anything…

This Friday I’ll either post my review of The Picture of Dorian Gray or a poem I think.

Anyway it’s Christmas on Sunday, how did it come round so fast?! 😀 What songs do you listen to in order to get into the holiday spirit?

Notes: featured image not mine

Song: Remember The Name by Fort Minor ft. Styles of Beyond ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VDvr08sCPOc)

A Good Start to December

This is just another little update, kind of also a haul/favourite things post I suppose.

I shamelessly indulged in a bit of retail therapy when the Black Friday sales came around this year. Doc Martens had selected items with 30% discounts! So I got these dark grey rigal shoes:img_3655Fantastic Beasts has come out – I haven’t seen it yet but I was hoping to go with the girl I want to get to know. Then I found out she’s already seen it. DUN DUN DUN. I’m mulling over whether to give her the Christmas card I made. She said hello to me today and oh my god that makes me feel warm and happy. I love how certain people just make your day.

Some people have got their Christmas trees up already. On the topic of Christmas, I wore my penguin jumper to college this week:img_3654

And today I made some Christmas cards. I enjoy making or receiving personal/hand-crafted cards, packaging or presents so I definitely recommend giving it a go!

What I did:

  • Cut out designs from old Christmas cards and used pritt stick to stick them on an A5 piece of folded paper.
  • Picked the Death Note anime font (pictured below – http://www.fontspace.com/dieter-steffmann/cloister-black) and wrote “Happy Xmas”. death-note-font-alphabet-2
  •  Printed out pictures (or drew) things the that my friends like and added jokes/memes.
  • On some of the cards I made a simple pop-up in the card and stuck a picture of their favourite character or celebrity with a Christmas hat on. img_3663

I’ve also been invited to party but now I have Pokémon Moon…does anyone really need to interact with other humans? I may or may not have played 10 hours on Saturday…

I chose a boy avatar and named myself after a meme for once. Whaddya think of my modern quiff?

img_3658This was my party, I have been going with a fictional character theme – Lady Narborough, Dorian Gray and Alan Campbell. I’m half way through the novel at the moment. If anyone here has picked up the game, which starter did you pick and why?

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Rizzoli and Isles season 6 DVD finally arrived and I’ve been getting back into that show. It’s probably one of my favourites because it’s got the mystery aspect, the chemistry between the two main characters, it’s rampant with comedy – it’s a great pick-me-up. The theme tune is enough to make me smile.img_3661And it’s really bad of me, but I’ve had a double chocolate muffin/a cookie from the college canteen for breakfast on three occasions in the past two weeks.

Lastly, although it slightly restores my faith in humanity, the fact that strangers at college ask me if I’m okay has led me to the conclusion that I have Resting Depressed Face rather than Resting Bitch Face. Does anyone else experience this?

Notes: featured image not mine

Song: I’m Shipping Up To Boston by Dropkick Murphys (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7x5xWwHLj_k) – similar to Rizzoli and Isles theme song

 

Panic! At The Disco concert

I arrived home at 2:40am…(the car battery died.) The concert actually finished around 10:30pm, Brendon Urie was amazing, obviously. I think he’s now my favourite male singer. He did a backflip at least once, I managed to just miss it. I just loved the overall experience rather than any specific point of the day. My friend and I queued for 6 hours and basically had been standing for 12 hours by the end of the night but it was worth it – we were about the fourth row from the front of the stage. I put together a few of many videos I took and posted them here: https://youtu.be/c-5W3_ySe2w

I was looking forward to wearing a nice outfit but of course it was predicted to rain, so brought a raincoat. I had my docs on which by the end of the night I was very thankful for as the rain was persistent.

Fans and staff were generally pretty friendly and kind, we got to listen to people singing songs (mostly P!ATD ones) such as Miss Jackson which was entertaining. There were a couple of LGBTQ+ flags around and that was a cool surprise. We were quite jealous of those in the queues with sleeping bags or rugs as it was really cold. To occupy the rest of our time, we just caught up with each other and attempted to play a few verbal games that I researched prior to the day in case of awkward silence. I also noticed a girl who kind of reminds me of Emma from Blue Is the Warmest Colour.

We were allowed into the concert hall at about 6:30pm but it wasn’t until 8pm that the supporting act came on (and we weren’t told who they were but they were good – edit: it was Tigertown) and I couldn’t stop staring at the drummer’s biceps…

In the meantime, there was one random balloon being batted about and then the balloons multiplied and there also seemed to be some blown-up condoms added to the mix, so some of us were terrified every time it got close. Definitely a memorable first concert.

And then P!ATD came on. The stage effects were awesome. A fan made a sign with a meme but with Brendon’s face on it and he saw it and said “oh shit waddup” which I caught on video! P!ATD played not only songs from Death of a Bachelor but also older albums, I was so happy. Most of my favourite songs are the older ones like The Ballad of Mona Lisa, I Write Sins Not Tragedies, Girls/Girls/Boys. Victorious was the last song played I think, and the confetti came out. Somehow I managed to leave a trail of confetti throughout London and I still have red glitter in my hair but at least I look fabulous now.

It took ages to get out of the hall and I paid £5 for two Brendon Urie posters because  we were in a rush and I couldn’t be bothered to find the change for just one poster, and well, the caption says it all. img_2996

I’m glad I tried something new and shoutout to my friend who gave me the spare ticket for free, you’re the real MVP.

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Notes: featured image and other photos taken by me

Reading Is the Most Fun a Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off

Ayy, did anyone get that Panic! At The Disco reference? The point is, a friend offered her spare P!ATD concert ticket as none of her other friends seem to want to go. She’s so sweet, she gave it to me for free too. This will be my first concert so I’m pretty nervous but also pumped. Is anyone else going to the one on the 20th November/ a fan?

So the reading part of the title of this blog is just because I’ve started reading The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde. For fun. I’ve reached chapter 7 from reading it during my free periods at college partly so that it doesn’t look like I’m twiddling my thumbs. I’m not finding it very thrilling at the moment but from what I’ve heard, things will get interesting. Hopefully I can write a review if I ever finish any of the books I start…img_2139

Funnily enough, I hit it off with a friend’s friend last Friday and today I told him a joke:

“Why did the chicken cross the road? Because she wanted to say hello from the other side.”

Needless to say, eyes rolled. Although I told it to my classmate too and she laughed. Good-natured laughter especially when I cause it, is one of my favourite moments. As are the silly things our Ollie does (he tried to bite the ice scraper today but it was on the other side of a window). It was a video clip but I have a free account so WordPress wouldn’t let me post it, so here is a screenshot:img_2142

Today happens to be not only the voting day for the US 2016 election but my friend’s birthday. Great present :’) But in all seriousness, I hope America’s next President is not going to be one who is an openly xenophobic, homophobic, misogynistic, disablist tyrant who thinks tax evasion is smart and would date his daughter if she wasn’t his daughter.

Anyway, on Sunday I went to see The Accountant (maybe I was swayed by the fact Anna Kendrick is in it) but it was actually really good. Check it out! We missed the first showing of the day because of traffic which was exacerbated by the London to Brighton Veteran Car Run. While we were stuck I saw a vintage looking convertible which I thought looked quite suave (can I even use that word in this context? Oh well).img_2045

I also wore a hoodie to college for the first time in months. That’s when you know it’s definitely autumn/winter which are probably my favourite seasons because I love feeling snug and cuddly. Although I will wait until December at least until I start wearing my Christmas pudding beanie – I’m not that uncivilised. img_2138

Notes: featured image not mine but other photos in this post are

Since the problems with posting I have stopped scheduling posts in case they go wrong and I haven’t had much time to write more creative posts, sorry readers.

Song: Lying Is the Most Fun a Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off by Panic! At The Disco (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8AZxUtZ2ZgI)

October social life and Halloween costume planning (update)

Life is pretty decent at the moment, except when I’m faced with Edexcel Geography, the bane of my existence. Most of my happiest days coincide when I’m with my friends or when I’m up north – London is overrated, fight me. 😛

Anyway my friendship groups seem stable now, or maybe stagnant. I now think that drifting from my former closest friend was actually good for me. When one door closes, another opens, as they say.

A friend of a friend added me on Facebook a while ago but now we like each other’s posts/dank memes. I seem to have a knack for encountering LGBTQ+ people or maybe vice versa. Our mutual friend actually got us to talk to each other recently. I’m learning some surprising and exciting things.

So October has been an unusually social month for me, hence this post. Don’t worry, I’m getting to the Halloween part. My friend, let’s call her L (not to be confused with L Lawliet), invited me as her plus-one to the Halloween party this week. credit-l-lawliet-smile

This is awesome for me because a) this household doesn’t celebrate Halloween – my only (distant) memories of past Halloweens involve me having chicken pox and our front door getting egged, b) I don’t get invited to parties, yeah I know, what a surprise and c) I get to spend more time with my friends. (Also it’s weird how massive Halloween seems in America. Or is that just in the movies about those rich suburban families? Either way, I feel like I’m missing out.)

Okay, moving on. I planned my outfit within a day or two and I might post pictures. It’s going to be inspired by the one and only Carmilla Karnstein, except I’m not going to wear fangs or fake blood or a 19th century dress. I’m going as the webseries one:carmilla-s1

Season 3 completely exceeded my expectations and I can’t wait for the movie. Here is how I would describe it:

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I told N from one of my classes about the party and she kindly shared some party wisdom which was: don’t be awkward or that’s what people remember you as at the next party and that it’s good to have at least two friends there so it’s easier to talk to new people…wish me luck.

On the weekend, I went up for a uni open day and revisited a lecture. I spent more time shopping in town than on campus but oh well…I got most of the components for my outfit, including a pair of Doc Martens. I swear everyone I’ve seen with those are either relatable or really cool. The lady in the shop told me to say ‘yes I’m a student’ so I did and I got 10% off! And on the way home I saw a girl with yellow laced ones and she had a tote bag with a satanic star on it which reminded me of Black Butler.

So how is everyone spending Halloween?

Notes: featured image and other pics not mine

I went through all my blog posts and added a link to the song suggestions. Not sure if anyone takes notice of this lil aspect of my blog but music is love, music is life 😀

Song: mOBSCENE by Marilyn Manson (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mdwZV4Y95Nw) – a slightly different choice to usual but I tried listening to a bit of Manson since my friend likes him, so. He scares me a little though…